Blog

Table For One This Holiday Season? Here are Some Tips For a Festive Solo Holiday

Many people anticipate the end of the year holidays — Thanksgiving, Hanukkah,
Christmas, Kwanzaa and New Year’s Eve — as joyful occasions to exchange gifts,
savor yummy goodies and kick up their heels with friends and family.
But for others — especially many older people — the holidays aren’t merry
occasions. Friends and family members, with whom they once gathered on
holidays, may no longer be able to join them for traditional elaborate festivities.
Consequently, they may wind up spending lackluster holidays home alone.
Recognizing this, Make Room @ The Table has put together a list of economical
and easy ways people can observe an enjoyable holiday by themselves.
In addition, Make Room @ The Table has created a second holiday list. This list is
a cornucopia of low-cost ideas to encourage folks, who have a full plate of jolly
companionship on the holidays, to dish out helpings of festive connectivity to those
engaged in solitary celebrations.

All of these Make Room @ The Table recommendations consider the possible
continuing need for mask wearing, social distancing and other appropriate
restrictions necessary to mitigate the spread of COVID-19.
Feel free to post these lists on your website or publish them in your newsletters.
But please make sure, if you do, that you credit Make Room @ The Table as the
source for the Lists.

Make Room @ The Table is a Chicago-based affinity group comprised of experts
engaged in the aging field. MR@TT’s mission is to identify, share and develop
strategies to alleviate social isolation and loneliness among older people.

TIPS FOR SPENDING THE HOLIDAYS ON YOUR OWN

  1. Invite someone you know will also be alone to share a holiday meal via Zoom
    or in person. Talk about the dishes you’ve made for each course and why you
    included them on your holiday menu.
  2. Bake some goodies to share with friends during the holidays. Experiment with
    new recipes. If they are a success — or a spectacular failure — display them on
    social media.
  3. Schedule a Zoom date or in-person meal with friends on the day before a
    holiday or the days immediately after the holiday. Make that your “holiday
    celebration.”
  4. Settle back in your favorite chair and become absorbed in a book you’ve been
    wanting to read.
  5. Stream a film. Fix a snack that carries out the theme of the movie — an ice
    cream soda if watching Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney or some warm
    croissants, if catching a French film with subtitles.
  6. Dive into a project — like cleaning your closets — that you’ve been meaning
    to do but haven’t had time to tackle.
  7. Go through photo albums, diaries and calendars and relive holidays past when
    you celebrated with friends and family and were not alone.
  8. Take a walk by yourself or go for a ride. Or ask a friend or neighbor to join
    you on a stroll, staying socially distant and masked, if that seems prudent.
  9. Write a note to people you are thankful are in your life and mail it, so your
    greeting arrives on the holiday. Or reach out to them by phone, e-mail or text
    and wish them a “lovely day.”
  10. Sign up to participate in the Audubon Christmas Bird Count that takes place
    from December 14, 2021, to January 5, 2022. The bird count is free, but you
    need to register in advance. For more information, visit
    https://www.audubon.org/conservation/science/christmas-bird-count.
  11. Begin a journal or add to one you’ve already begun. Consider starting work on
    a memoir. Emphasize gratitude and the things in your life for which you are
    thankful.
  12. Attend a religious service either online or in person.
  13. Get tickets to a virtual or in-person play, musical, jazz performance, dance
    recital or concert during the holidays.
  14. Offer to take care of a pet for a friend or neighbor, who will be spending the
    holidays out of town. If feasible, volunteer at an animal shelter on the holiday.
  15. Plan a micro “adventure” — take a bus or cab or drive to a different
    neighborhood and view the holiday decorations outside the homes and in the
    stores. Sample hot chocolate and a pastry — or a holiday treat — in a local
    café you’ve never been to before.
  16. Check to see whether Mather Telephone Topics or Well Connected or other
    learning or social programs designed for older people are available via Zoom
    — either by phone or online — on the holidays.
  17. Write a story… create a poem… or make up a song. Begin knitting a sweater
    or scarf. Engage in a craft to make special presents for those on your gift list.
  18. Invite friends and neighbors to your home — or to Zoom — early on New
    Year’s Eve. Share champagne or wine and snacks to launch a New Year’s
    celebration. If you’re going to be home alone at midnight, arrange to call a
    friend or family member who is also alone as the clock strikes 12 to usher in
    the new year.
  19. Offer to fill in for a volunteer, so that person can celebrate with family. If it’s
    feasible to volunteer in person, you can do so. If not, see if there is a way you
    can volunteer online or by phone.
  20. If you are spending the holiday on your own as the caregiver for an older loved
    one, who is physically challenged or cognitively impaired, try brightening up
    your festivities by singing familiar seasonal songs, listening to holiday music
    together, or collaborating on simple projects like stringing popcorn garlands,
    decorating wreaths or wrapping presents.
  21. Contact a local university alumni relations office or community liaison
    department and ask if there are foreign students or faculty members, who
    won’t be traveling to their home country for the holidays. You could offer to
    host an informal get together with them, such as a virtual or in person caroling
    party on Christmas Eve or a Christmas or New Year’s Day virtual — or real
    live — open house.
  22. Plan ahead to cook a special holiday dish or entire meal for yourself. Or place
    an order for a holiday banquet from a restaurant or grocery store. Set the table
    with your favorite china and glassware. Make a centerpiece of brightly colored
    gourds, a Hanukkah Menorah, Christmas poinsettia, or Kwanzaa Kinara with
    Mishumaa Saba candles. Dress in your holiday best.
  23. Ignore the holiday and view it as just another day. Stick to your usual routine,
    take something out of the freezer and savor the gift of quiet time alone.

TIPS FOR REACHING OUT TO THOSE YOU KNOW WILL BE ALONE ON THE HOLIDAYS

  1. Call a friend or family member, who will be alone on the holiday. Perhaps you
    can coordinate with others who know the person, to space out calls throughout
    the day.
  2. E-mail someone who’s alone on a holiday. Send a video greeting from you,
    and, if appropriate, members of your family.
  3. Arrange an in person or virtual caroling party on Christmas Eve that includes
    friends and family members who will be alone.
  4. Enlist young folks to become pen pals, sending cards and letters — or poems,
    drawings, and stories — to older people who are alone on the holiday.
  5. Send a beautiful, animated e-card to be delivered on the holiday to a person
    alone. Have the personal message on the card reflect your gratitude that the
    person is in your life.
  6. Make time on the holiday to set up a Zoom date with someone who is alone. If
    feasible, include family members or mutual friends. During the virtual visit,
    you could light the candles together in a Hanukkah Menorah or a Kwanzaa
    Kinara, or trim Christmas trees.
  7. Set aside a portion of your holiday dinner for a friend who is observing the
    holiday alone and deliver it to their door.
  8. Screen share a movie or football game on the holiday via Zoom with someone
    alone … or view the football game or movie separately and text or talk about
    what you watched by phone afterward.
  9. Send or lend a book you enjoyed or found meaningful to a friend, who will be
    alone on the holiday, and then plan to discuss it with the person by phone or
    Zoom on the holiday or shortly thereafter.
  10. Arrange to have a Zoom date — or in-person meal — the day before the
    holiday or the weekend after with a friend, who’ll be observing the holiday
    alone. Make your get-together a “holiday celebration.”
  11. Cook with friends, who will be alone. Whip up innovative holiday delicacies
    during an in person or virtual latke baking contest — or concoct tempting Yule
    logs or elaborately decorated Christmas cookies. Then sample some of your
    culinary creations together and comment on how they turned out.
  12. Sing holiday songs with a friend or friends virtually via Zoom or over the
    speakerphone.
  13. Write “letters of gratitude” to friends you know will be alone. Mail them so
    they will arrive the day before the holiday but write “Do Not Open Until” —
    whatever holiday it is — on the envelopes.
  14. Invite a friend or neighbor who is alone to go for a walk — masked and
    socially distanced, if prudent — on the holiday.
  15. If someone you know lives alone but has holiday plans, check in at the end of
    the day to make sure those plans came to pass. If the plans fell through, the
    person will be disappointed and lonely, and will be pleased to have the human
    contact. If the holiday get-together took place as scheduled, the person will be
    delighted to have the chance to share details with a friend.
  16. See if your Village, Senior Center, House of Worship, or older adult social
    organization can arrange a virtual dinner or open house on the holiday to
    provide social connectivity for folks who’ll be by themselves.
  17. Make room at your table virtually…or in real life. Add a person who is alone
    to your guest list to dine with you and your family on the holiday. If it’s too
    much of a hassle to include someone who’s alone for an entire holiday meal,
    ask them to share dessert with you and your other guests. Or invite someone
    who is alone to dine with your family the night after the holiday and join you
    in a traditional holiday feast of leftovers.

Take a Tip from Baube

Here’s a grandson talking about a time when his Baube, grandmother to you, knew exactly the perfect thing to say in a tough situation. It’s a story that will be passed down about this gutsy grandma for generations. 

Thanks to Words Aloud for reminding us how clever the older generation is.

Hello Animal Lovers

I know this is a difficult time for many of us; it may seem like it’s crazy to ask. The reason I’m reaching out is because Friendship Pet Food Pantry would like you to simply tag us in a post and send this along to anyone else who might do the same. We’re doing this in conjunction with National Dog Day, which was Wednesday, August 26. We also happily provide food and litter to close to 200 cats a month.

Vet Clinics and other businesses haven’t been able to run pet food drives, events where we volunteer in order to raise funds are cancelled. Yet the need grows. The number of pets we’re providing food for has grown over 20 percent since March. 

A simple tag and sending this along to others or posting on Facebook and Instagram is all we’re asking. Donations are always welcome, as well.

– Dara Salk
Friendship Pet Food Pantry
www.friendshippetpantry.org
on Facebook: Friendship Pet Food Pantry

Random Acts of Crochet Kindness

Recently on one of my almost daily walks with my husband in the neighborhood, we spotted a little surprise on the way back just as we reached our building. Perched on a low windowsill was a rainbow-colored crocheted frog, with a tiny note attached. The note read “I am not lost, just all alone…if I made you smile, please take me home!” I remembered seeing something online about small crocheted creatures being left for people to find, so I took it home. In fact, the note instructed me to go online and say thank you on the Facebook page of a group called “Random Acts of Crochet Kindness.”

On their page I learned that people all over the world are doing the same thing: creating small, cute crocheted items such as bees, butterflies, and flowers, and leaving them for others to find. Sometimes they are left in nature, such as hanging from trees on a scenic walk, or they are left in urban areas. The fact that this is a global phenomenon amazed me and made me thankful for the small acts people are doing to make a happier world. Indeed, the little frog makes me smile everyday!

Facebook Page of Random Acts of Crochet Kindness
https://www.facebook.com/groups/906834113017980/

By Janice Katz

Bad Hair

In the era of YouTube celebrity, a lot of people have a lot to say about cutting hair, styling hair, coloring hair for people, dogs, Barbie dolls… And yet so many of us really have no clue. (For the record, not all of the YouTubers do either.) But the difference is that they’re willing to take that leap onto the world wide internets and fake it ‘til they make it. That’s something we’re all going to need to do as long as hair needs to be cut, and it’s a huge risk to go to your favorite salon or barber shop.

What does NPR have to say about it?

https://www.npr.org/2020/05/20/859261894/people-are-cutting-their-own-hair-during-quarantine-sometimes-without-success

Some really bad haircuts

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/quarantine-haircuts_l_5e973402c5b6ead140065d1b

Women with Bobs

Women with Short Hair

Men with Clippers

My Block, My Hood, My City

For Jahmal Cole, founder of My Block, My Hood, My City, struggle is nothing new. Long ago he learned how to pull himself out of any dark space: serving others. In his new book, Cole explores the power of building community and helping your neighbors — and lets you know how easy it is to get started. 

This month, Block Club is joining Cole in asking this question: “What’s something simple I can do that will have a positive impact on my block?” Do you see a need you can fulfill on your block? Do you have an idea for a project that would improve the block for your family and your neighbors? 

Submit your ideas here by December 31. Then, the My Block, My Hood, My City team will give out $25,000 in grants so dozens of you can put your vision into action. Looking for inspiration? You can buy Jahmal’s book here or check out incredible community service projects from his organization here.

Bridges

“Memories of an Apple Tree” by Steve Borzcik
Click here to buy this art.

Bridging the days and years.

The games we play and the toys we enjoy are helpful as we move through the years. In my childhood years I lived in a small village with many pastures and trees. My home had a grove of trees in a small cluster. My brothers and I made the grove into rooms. The rooms changed depending on the story of the day. One brother wanted to be a cowboy so we often lived in the old west. Some days we lived in the world of knights and kings. We took good care of our homes. Gathering sticks and stones to build furniture and utensils and chasing away the bad people, we cared for our imaginary children. The hot days of summer were filled with our imaginary tales.

Our parents were happy to ignore our adventures. We allowed our imaginations to run across history and spaces. The entertainment was cheap. The stories were dark and tantalizing. The days flew. They were bridged by creative thoughts and developing brains. The grove is still at the old home place. Now different young children live in the space. I am hopeful they are bridging their lives to the stories and dreams of other spaces and places.

Did you ever use your toys to build imaginary worlds?
Who did you play with?
What is your best story?
Let me know.
Bridging the days in thoughts and imagination.

– Tana
Dr. Tana Durnbaugh lives in the Ravenswood area of Chicago. She co-houses with her son and his family. She loves stories and her little dog, Bess Truman.


If you would like to illustrate a blog post, please contact Forward Chicago at info@ForwardChicago.org